Archive for April, 2010

Q: Six months ago we placed my mother in an assisted living facility. She gets along fairly well, but we thought she would get involved with all of the activities. Instead she complains that she is very lonely, and won’t participate. Do you have any suggestions?

A: There may be a number of reasons your mother doesn’t participate in the actives offered.

You may want to step back a bit and assess your mother’s situation. Ask yourself a few of these questions

1. What kind of activities has my mother always enjoyed doing?

2. Does my mother enjoy social gatherings now?

3. Does my mother enjoy a one on one visit?

4. Are there health factors present now that keeps her from enjoying group activities?

5. Before my mother needed assistance with activities of daily living was she a homebody or a social butterfly?

When determining what kind of facility your loved is best suited for those 5 questions should be asked. Often times, we as family members think that all sorts of activities would be good for our lonely senior. But, if group activities have not been a part of their lifestyle, it may be hard for them to just jump in a do the activities.

Your mom may just be a slow starter. One thing you might try is scheduling time to go in and participate in a few activities with your mom. This might help her feel more comfortable. If this is the case she will soon be attending activities on her own.

If however she still wishes to remain in her room, and still complains that she is lonely, you may wish to consider further investigation. Perhaps consulting with a neutral, long-term care advisor would be beneficial. I would suggest speaking with someone who is not interested in keeping your mom in their facility at all costs.

While these suggestions are not exhaustive, they will give you a place to begin.

Renee “Dutchy” Reeves is an Elder Care Consultant with over 10 years of working with the elderly and their families. Her online advice column, “Ask Dutchy” provides practical ideas and advice for assisting the elderly with Alzheimer’s disease, Dementia, Parkinson’s, disability, and those needing long term care. See other articles by her at http://www.askdutchy.mycarelink.net

Mom Wont Participate!

Q: My mom is in the early stages of dementia and she is also incontinent we have tried to get her to stop wearing her underpants and have her start wearing pull-up diapers, she throws the Depends out the door and puts her underpants on. Of coarse we have a lot of laundry! How should I handle this?

A: This one should be fairly easy to solve. You have a few options actually! And hopefully you won’t have to try them all!

First, you should take all of the regular underwear away, and replace them with the Depends. That way there is no other option. Hopefully in a few days she will adjust to the change and not even notice the difference.

If that doesn’t work you may have to resort to under-handed, underwear tactics.

Sometimes with dementia you have to be a little bit dishonest. Somehow to me it never felt right telling little old ladies, little white lies. But, perhaps you could look at it like you are just stretching things a bit, or since we are Irish, it is just blarney!

One of the only ways to effectively deal with those who have dementia or alzheimer’s is to enter into their reality. In your moms’ mind, she doesn’t have a problem and doesn’t need them. In our reality we are smelling the urine, finding wet clothes, the furniture might be getting soiled etc. So here are a few one liners that might help you.

1. Mom we sent the underwear to the dry cleaners, they won’t be back until next Monday.

2. Sorry, mom, they had to keep them another week.

3. I’m going to have to call and complain, because it has taken them so long.

4. The ladies’ department at JC Penney, told me that they don’t make that kind of underwear anymore mom. They only sell this kind.

5. Mom, you are hip! It’s what all the chics your age are wearing!

6. Mom the washing machine is broken, can you just wear these until we get it fixed.

7. Mom, the dryer ate your underwear.

8. What underwear?

Get a little creative!

Renee “Dutchy” Reeves is an Elder Care Consultant with over 10 years of working with the elderly and their families. Her online advice column, “Ask Dutchy” provides practical ideas and advice for assisting the elderly with Alzheimer’s disease, Dementia, Parkinson’s, disability, and those needing long term care. See other articles by her at http://www.askdutchy.mycarelink.net

The Dryer Ate Your Underwear!

It was right about this time, 19 years ago. My wife and I were sitting in the very last Lamaze birthing class, soon to be brand new parents. I felt a wave of anxiety come over me. I had to ask the question. I raised my hand. The Nurse, her name was Dorinda, pointed at me and said, "Yes, you have a question." Did I have a question? I just knew EVERY Dad was wondering the same thing? "You have given us some great information, almost too much. I am afraid I am going to forget all this stuff?then what?" I could feel the other Dad’s nodding. She smiled; she was very wise and patient. She had taught thousands of new Dads. "That’s a great question," pausing for effect, she continued, "That little baby doesn’t know you don’t know. Just give him a lot of love, you will be fine." It turned out to be the best parenting advice I ever received.

When I was a kid, maybe five years old, I have a distinct memory of my father holding my hand at Matthews Beach in Seattle. My head came up to his waist. He was a big man, 6′-4" and 240 pounds. In his day, he was an extraordinary athlete, All-State in three sports. He once scored 34 points in a Regional Final in Basketball. He started playing baseball at age 16, pitching, his Junior year in High School.

He told me the following story one night in Seattle. We were sitting in the brand new Safeco Field watching the Seattle Mariners pound the Cleveland Indians.

By the time he was a senior in high school; pro scouts were at every game. This was 1947 in Ravenna, Ohio. The Indians had the best pitching staff in baseball. One particular scout was enamored of my Dad. He signed a whopping $500 bonus to play for the Dayton Mud Hens, AA team.

His second summer, my Dad got the call. He showed up with the scout to find the General Manager of the team, the owner, a catcher, and an empty Cleveland Stadium. He said to me with a serious tone, "Mark, I threw the best baseball of my young life. I was 19 years old and I was fast. I would guess it came in around 85 miles per hour. I was feeling good about myself. I was on. I gave it everything I had. I just knew they were impressed."

After 20 minutes, the owner stood up and yelled out to me, "Okay, Bob, we are done warming up. Go ahead and show us what you got!" Up to this point while he was telling me this story, he looked straight ahead. To end the story, he turned his head, looked straight at me and said, "I knew right then I would never play in the Big Show."

I was 42 years old when he told me that story. I heard a lot of stories growing up, but that was not one of them. This one was special. He was confiding in me. He trusted me. It was time to bare a little of his soul.

My father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s recently. Everything is changing now. The more I learn about this insidious and horrible disease, the sadder I become. A part of this big man dies a little every day. The burden is carried by my mom. She is hauling a massive load. (for a special story on Alzheimer’s, go to www.mattesonavenue.com and click on "What’s New!!!" tab to read the story "When the Box is Empty")

I cherish the moments I have with my dad now. I know for him, it’s the 9th inning and the manager may be making that call to the bullpen any time now. Grief is a form of energy and must be dissipated somehow in healthy ways or it turns inward in the form of depression or self-destruction. Writing is how I process that grief.

I have captured many memories of my father in my journal the past year. I cry tears of regret, pain, anguish, heartache, sadness, anger and sorrow. Occasionally, when I think of my dad in that empty stadium giving it all he had, I cry a tear of joy. I love my dad.

Now my son Colin is grown. He will go off to college in the fall. 19 years later, that little baby got all the love I had. He is 6′-8", 210 pounds. He is on his way to The University of Alaska at Fairbanks in August to play basketball on a scholarship, a great athlete, a lot like his Grandpa. It’s bittersweet. My father and son are leaving about the same time for different reasons. I think I am just going to give them each a lot love before they go. I will be just fine.

Pinnacle Service Group
Raising the Bar in Organizations Nationwide
Mark Matteson
877.672.2001
Fax 425.745.8981
Email psgmarkm @ msn .com

For your FREE e-zine, go to http://www.mattesonavenue.com

Just Give Them a Lot of Love and You?ll be Fine

Introduction

The baby boomers is the population which haven taken birth after second world war till 1965 when there was a tremendous increase in birth rate due to the social and economic development in the USA. Now this population is going into the old age and thus bringing a burden to the nation as the country has to take care of not only the food and shelter but also the medical care. Rather medical care is in a way more important as they are prone to many diseases not only infectious because of their lowered immunity but also non -communicable ones such as Diabetes Mellitus, Myocardial Infarction, Stroke, etc. not to speak of those other mental disorders such as Depression, Parkinson’s disease, Alzheimer’s disease, etc.

Current problem

There is more than 35million population in USA that is more than 65 years as per the latest Census Bureau report. This is nearly 12 % of the whole population and this is supposed to more than double in the next 50 years or so requiring the nation provide for their well-being. At present, it is said, that the disabled and elderly account for only around 20% of Medicaid spending but they account for more than 75% of the Medicaid spending on the prescription medicines. There is yet another set of problems. There is a progressive decline in the renal function of the elderly. The enzymes needed to metabolize the drug are less and have they have sensitivity towards certain drugs. They also have lesser free fluid volume. These and many other factors make the elderly especially susceptible for drug toxicity. Also adverse drug reactions are much more common in the aged population than others.

Buying cheap drugs

There are certain federal and other non-governmental plans available that help the senior citizens to buy the drugs cheaper. These are:

1. Medicaid

When president Lyndon Johnson signed the Medicare and Medicaid act in 1965 it marked a new era for the health care in USA. For a minimum amount, which is called a co-payment or some deductions, one can avail this facility. Nearly all states provide this facility to their population. You just have to fulfill certain their requirements.

2. Drug store discounts

Certain seniors are allowed a discount on their prescriptions, which can help them majorly.

3. Medicare drug discount cards

This is available for that elderly population who are not entitled for benefit under the Medicaid program.

4. Medicare prescription assistance programs

This type of program is available in nearly all states although they may differ in the eligibility requirements.

5. Online buying

People may buy the drugs online through the Internet but the only drawback is that they have to rely on the seller and in that process they may get duped by getting second grade items or by their money.

6. Buying from Canada

Some people prefer to buy their medicines from Canada, which has health policy a bit different from that of USA and hence provides a market for cheaper drugs. FDA does take it seriously if one buys them in small amounts.

7. Charities

There are certain charitable institutions, which help the elderly and the destitute in having their medicines, which at times they, give free of cost.

8. Others like state prescription fund, LCD, prescription drug credit program, subsidies, PAAD, PACENET,

Options available besides drugs

Besides the above options available for getting cheaper drugs there are other options like living in an extended health care facility or long term care facility or assisted living where people can not only live a normal healthy life but also get treatment if the need arise.

Tia arora writes helping senior citizens topics. Learn more at http://www.seniormedhelp.com.

What You Need to Know About Helping Senior Citizens

Becoming a care giver might not have been a conscious decision on your part. It may have arrived quietly and unnoticed because you are the adult child of your elderly parents who now require care or you may have a special needs child that exacts your constant attention or a friend or spouse has become very ill and needs your support. In any of these situations the impact of providing constant care is tremendous.

One of the most difficult things about taking on a care giver role is that feeling of isolation, that sense of being all alone. Often times we think we need to do the job completely by ourselves, that the responsibility lays entirely with us. That’s not true. You can ask for help.

Here’s a few tips that will encourage you to get comfortable asking for and receiving the help you need in caring for a loved one.

1. First of all, recognize that care giving can definitely become a very responsible, overwhelming and isolating job. And also recognize that it’s a sign of strength to ask for help. It means that you understand the situation and have begun to take a proactive approach to making your life better.

2. Your role may be the primary caregiver and with that in mind, it is very important to include your extended family as part of your care giving team. Perhaps your family members could provide some specific help such as handling yard work, preparing some meals, helping with financial issues, taking on the primary role so you can get away on vacation.

3. Write down all the tasks that need to be done on a weekly basis, the ones that you are most concerned about. These may include working outside the home, getting to doctor appointments, driving the kids to after school activities, laundry, cooking, cleaning, filling out forms, picking up medicines, therapy sessions, regular family duties, etc. When you see them in ‘black and white’ you will quickly realize just why it is you are so tired and why you need to accept any offers of help.

4. Become very aware of your monthly schedule and how others might be able to slip into the caregiver role and give you a hand. Remember, you must be ready to give them a date, time and duties when they offer assistance to you. Make a list of specific tasks that someone else could handle for you. Perhaps it’s hands on assistance with personal care for your loved one or providing transportation to an appointment or activity, administering medications, helping with housework, doing the grocery shopping. You may even want to categorize these tasks so it will be easier to help decide who might be the best person for the job.

It’s very important for you to learn to ask for and accept help when it is offered. Care giving at the best of times is certainly more than a ‘one man job’. Realize just how extraordinary you are as a human being and recognize how important you are in caring for your loved one.

Love, honor and value yourself. Remember, by taking good care of your own health and emotions you will in turn be better able to help your loved one and enjoy a happier, less stressful lifestyle.

Lois Galloway is a Professional Coach. Lois is also the founder of Discover Yourself Coaching which specializes in coaching and caring for caregivers. To learn more about how you, as a caregiver can live 97% guilt free, please visit her web site at http://www.discoveryourselfcoaching.com You can also sign up for the Caregivers Monthly Newsletter.

Helping Caregivers Get Comfortable Asking For Help

As a long-term care consultant for seniors and their families I have visited many different types of facilities. But my favorite type of facility to visit is adult family homes.

There are over 2200 adult family homes in Washington State. Adult family homes have many things in common, but are each unique in their individual decor’ and house size. Some are ultra fancy, some are tailored for country type folk, while some are modern and are bursting with color.

Each provider, like the differences you find in the decor of the homes is individual in their personalities. Some are laid back, others are very vivacious, you will find that some are calm, quiet houses, while others team with activity.

When you enter an adult family home the first thing you will notice is that the Adult family home smells wonderful. They take pride in making delicious homemade meals. Often times when you come into the homes you’ll be greeted by the aroma of fresh baked bread, rolls, or muffins, not to mention the varieties of home made soups, baked chicken, roasts or casseroles, whose fragrance fill the air.

Adult family homes do not have overwhelming chemical smells like nursing homes. They have a smaller ratio of clients to serve and clients are cared for in a much timelier manner, reducing odors.

Since caregiver ratio is much smaller than in traditional institutional settings. (The caregiver to client ratio is 1:5 or 1:6) This gives the caregiver and the client much more individualized time together. Careful personalized attention can be given to the individual senior living in this care setting. Bathing, dressing, putting on lotion and powders, not to mention the warmed up bathroom and the occasional dryer warmed towels, for the client are all done in a manner that preserves the seniors dignity. Often times I hear caregivers laughing with their residents while giving them a shower, I have even heard some singing.

Many seniors bring their furniture from home, pictures from their living room walls, bedspreads, photo albums, their own beds even. Having a piece of home with them helps them to feel more at home. I have been in several adult family homes that even paint the rooms the residents’ favorite color. Of coarse the amount of furniture you can bring depends on the size of the room.

Seniors don’t have to share rooms in adult family homes. But if they choose to do so, adult family home providers are careful to ensure that there is a good match with the roommate. If you prefer your own private bathroom some adult family homes offer those too.

Activities in the home are individualized to meet each senior’s preferences. Some seniors enjoy more activities and are encouraged to visit the senior centers, go on outings, attend church, or other social clubs, do light cooking and gardening. While other seniors enjoy a good book, watching TV, visiting with the caregivers (there is actually a lot of time for this) or just watching the birds through the kitchen window.

Caregivers have a chance to get to know each client’s individual tastes. If a client doesn’t particularly like roast beef, accommodations will be made. You don’t find nursing homes that will change a meal based on a single client’s wish. Many adult family homes have their residents help with the menu planning, so everyone gets to participate. Snacks are purchased with the specific individuals in mind. Each aspect of the care is tailored to the individual.

Perhaps the most important thing of all is that caregivers are with your loved one for more than just a shift. There is continuity of care. The person, who manages your loved ones care in the home, is more than likely the one who sleeps in the bedroom right next to them at night. The relationship becomes more personalized. Changes in the clients’ status are detected earlier, because a caregiver has taken time to notice. The staff turnover is very minimal. A senior feels more comfortable confiding health problems with a friend rather than a staff member that he doesn’t really know.

I could continue, because there are so many more things that make an adult family home a wonderful choice for long term care. If you have any questions please feel free to contact us.

I hope this helps! Renee

Renee “Dutchy” Reeves is an Elder Care Consultant with over 10 years of working with the elderly and their families. Her online advice column, “Ask Dutchy” provides practical ideas and advice for assisting the elderly with Alzheimer’s disease, Dementia, Parkinson’s, disability, and those needing long term care. See other articles by her at http://www.askdutchy.mycarelink.net

Who Wants to End Up in a Nursing Home? NO ONE!

Assisted Living facilities are generally for person’s 60 years of age and older. Typical candidates need assistance with "Activities of Daily Living" (ADLs), but wish to live as independently as possible. Assisted Living communities exist to bridge the gap between seniors that can live independently and skilled nursing homes.

Assisted living facilities provide helpful services such as:

1. Eating,

2. Bathing,

3. Dressing,

4. Grooming,

5. Laundry,

6. Housekeeping,

7. Assistance with medications.

While Board and Care facilities are usually in a private residential home, Assisted Living facilities are larger structures often arranged as senior living communities. These communities can contain as many as 400 residents or as few as 25 seniors. Residents of assisted living communities usually meet in a dining room together with other residents for meals.

A person designated as the ‘Activities Director’ oversees a key area in the assisted living community – Social activities. The Activities Director typically arranges daily options for residents including outings, crafts, dances, music, educational classes, seminars, and other opportunities. All activities are designed to encourage physical and mental stimulation.

Assisted Living facilities create a care plan for each individual resident upon admission. The care plan details the agreed upon personalized services required by the resident and guaranteed to be provided by the facility. The plan is updated regularly to assure that the resident receives the appropriate care as his or her condition changes.

Assisted Living communities are closely involved in the health needs of their residents. They often have a person designated to oversee this called a ‘Health Care Director’. They coordinate the monitoring of health related issues involving medication, diet, personal hygiene, socialization and mental acuity to assist the senior and their family as they interact with health care professionals. If a decline is noted in a specific area, family and health care professionals are consulted by the Health Care Director to resolve issues. Often, because of their experience, unexpected emergency health issues are avoided, as signs of a decline recognized and acted upon early.

Residents can live at ‘Assisted Living’ communities for many years, even as their health declines considerably. Many offer hospice care and end of life assistance. If you are considering senior care options, assisted living facilities are definitely an option worth looking into.

Alex Jensen is with http://www.careplacement.com – a free placement service for Southern California. Care Placement’s staff can review your care requirements to determine whether skilled nursing care, assisted living facilities or board and care homes are a viable option for seniors.

Assisted Living Facilities ? What Are They?